Pork with an Attitude: Or a disappointing Dogittude

Who: Don
Where: Pork with an Attitude, Beale Street, Memphis, TN
What: A goddamn Hot Dog

Memphis. As my pals headed for Graceland, a place I had seen a few years ago and no desire to explore once more, I headed for Beale Street. While walking down the dusty street, my Alter Ego, The Stomach, manifested his strong and urging desire for a meaty pleasure. I had no particular place in mind, but remembered that I was quite pleased by the Pork with an Attitude last time I looked for ribs on Beale. It was four, and we had just finished lunch. A platter of ribs would even by my standards be obscene.

I settled for a Hot Dog instead. And was quite disappointed. While the Pig is a generous host when it comes to its other meals, the Dog was… just a plain vanilla goddamn sausage in a piece of bread. No onions, no pickles, no nothing. I even had to ask for the goddamn ketchup and mustard.

I say booboo to this foofood.

Note: As to the name, you might wonder what the guy must have been on when he came up with a tribute to a Hog: “Pork with an Attitude! Why have an Attitude? Well you would have an attitude too if you were cooked to perfection and told you were perfect, wouldn’t you?”. No comment when it comes to Dogs…

Francesca's Cakes: A banana and chocolaty adventure on 9th St

Who: Don

Where: Francesca's, on 9th Street, Durham, NC

FooFood: Cakes!!

Francesca’s, on 9th Street in Durham, has free WiFi. Lots of students (mostly nerds) studying, some elderly (and certainly quite respectable) Duke professors, a crowd of wannabe Dukie groupies. And Francesca has cakes. And what for Cakes.

From the very classic German Schwarzwaldertorte (Chocolate cake with mousse and cherries) to the Banana-Cream-Tourte, which is in my opinion the absolute must. I haven’t been much of a fan of their Carrot-Cake (way too sweet, and doesn’t taste like carrot at all). The salty stuff, such as Sandwiches and Wraps, are not worth mentioning either. Francesca’s bottom line is all about CAKE.

By the way, and this is a definite plus, the staff at the café is forthcoming and insanely nice. I just wish they'd have better music taste...

Best NJ Burgers: White Manna on the Hackensack River

- This story has already been published in French. After numerous complaints, we decided to translate the article into English for the hungry NJ citizen -

Who: Don, Joe, Pupu
Where: White Manna, Hackensack, New Jersey
FooFood: The VERY BEST EVER Burgers of New Jersey (and probably the entire Northeast)

Established in 1946 on the bancs of the Hackensack River, the minuscule diner is named after Manna, the biblic food. The diner is no 500 sq feet, kitchen included! The smell of roasted onions and steaks submerges you at the very moment you pull the joint's door open. You find yourself quite literally in a face-to-face with the robust cook, a big dude who prepares the marvelous little burgers with complete indifference on a grill right behind the U-Shaped bar.

Joe, Pupu, and your humble author sat down at the last three idle fornica stools. Barely seated, the somber man asks us "how many?" Hmm, there's not much time for hesitation: the guy is from the impatient sort. As if with a single voice, we scream "four" to the Master's attention - four per person, this is a given (you should know that the burgers are not bigger than the size of your fist). You've got the choice between Hamburgers and Cheeseburgers - onions are comprised, you'll have to take them off if you don't want any!

Once ordered, the cook throws a dozen steakballs on the grill before flattening them with his gigantic spool. He covers the meat with a handfull of roasted onions. With agility and his bare hands, the guy takes the steaks off the grill by squeezing them awkwardly into a bun.
As a matter of fact, those aren't simple "buns" - they are legendary, like the whole goddamn rest. Called "Martin's Potato roll", they are a a sort of fresh bun made out of God-knows-What-Potato-Wheat.
Before handing you the Burgers on a small carton plate, you earn a last grim look, followed by the customary "Pickles?"

The Burgers come along with homemade fries - fries served by the moment you take a seat - no matter whether or how many burgers you intend to order. There's no special orders anyway, no place for veggie-tree-huger-freaks.

VERDICT: The Burgers are DELICIOUS: very tasty, very juicy, they have a slight sweet taste thanks to the roasted onions and the sweet bun. It's your calling to put ketchup and mustard at your heart's desire (and maybe, just maybe, under the disapproving look of the Master).

The Banana Bomb - or B&J's conception of an icey snack

Who: Marina, Don
Where: Ben & Jerry's, Durham, NC
Foofood: Banana Split and Strawberry/Kiwi Smoothy

I ordered a banana split. Instead, I was delivered a B-Bomb. What seemed to be the ultimate kick in terms of ice cream - the biggest, fattest, most caloric banana split ever served - turned out to be the most disgusting one, too. Just too much of everything: too much ice, too much cream, too many goddamn bananas. The result: I barely chopped of a few spoons and had to take a nap.

I say booboo for this foofood!!

The Homey

Who: Jube, Don
Where: At Home
FooFood: Delicious home burgers

For the lonesome nights in Southern France, when one comes to crave American Food culture but the closest fast food is a disenchanting 15 miles away, there's only one, and it's the Homey.

A wonderful combination of French beef, American dressing sauce, and heavy Swiss Cheese.